Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
