She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
