Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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