I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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