also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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