I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
