You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
