Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
