capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
