We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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