hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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