Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just google imaged poop.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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