apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
