I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
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