why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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