dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
