I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
