I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
