Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
