I can't breathe out the right side of my face
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
