I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize