it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize