do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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