If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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