Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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