Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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