it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
