I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
