you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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