Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
