im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
