Are we in a gay sports bar?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
