I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
