i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
