Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
