I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
