I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
