Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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