I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
