Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's never too late to be topless.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
