3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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