thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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