Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
