If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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