okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
