how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
