I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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