Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i drank out of a bidet.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
