i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
