literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
